Forgiveness Class (Part Five)

Last Class. As I was walking to the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center last Thursday, I felt it was about time to wrap it up.

The week before I went to the American Psychologists Conference in Washington, DC, where I saw movie “Happy” and several other movies about healing techniques used by psychologists and about human mind. That trip reconfirmed that relationships are the most important thing in our life. Overall I felt overwhelmed with all experiences and wanted some rest. With all that I walked in and sat down to meditate with no expectations whatsoever.

We did the same meditation that was in the second class that I missed. It had 3 parts:

1) I ask forgiveness from those whom I intentionally or unintentionally hurt.

2) I forgive myself for intentionally or unintentionally hurting myself.

3) I extend my forgiveness to those who through activity or inactivity, intentionally or unintentionally hurt or harmed me out of fear, pain, anger or confusion.

I focused on my body and my breathing, I wanted to love myself. I remembered one phrase from “The Secret”: “I’ve known myself for 44 years and I love myself, I want to kiss myself”. It was so strange to hear coming from a male, that I remembered it. I was just sitting and concentrating on my body, my organs and cells, craving for more love from me. And suddenly it came, the flow of love inside me for everyone around including me.

In this part of the meditation we had to imagine persons whom we hurt intentionally or unintentionally and ask for their forgiveness. For some reason the person I can’t forgive came to my mind. Don’t I have enough love for them? I thought that I might have hurt them unintentionally and they suffered. I imagined them vulnerable, helpless, trying to find their own inner peace, and acting out on their own discomfort. I only saw a weak person not the offender. Suddenly my heart opened. The block was gone and pain was released. I wanted to extend all my love to them, help them and make them happy. I don’t have to protect myself from them and make sure it doesn’t repeat again. What happened a while ago was just a hurting moment but the rest of my life seems like the Universe or infinity. I can’t poison my body, my life and all around me with negative thoughts and artificially created barriers. I hugged that person in my mind, and I couldn’t stop my tears. I accepted them, the past act, the love between us, and that we are all humans who make mistakes.

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