Live Group Testing of the Happiness Tool in Santa Monica, CA

There were seven of us in Urth Cafe in Santa Monica at 7PM on Wednesday. Due to traffic I was a little stressed, but “Peace of mind” tea cured it all. I was pleasantly surprised with overall attendance: 6 people showed up from 10 RSVPs which is pretty high.

We gathered in the courtyard, where it is more quiet, plenty of shade and more space in comparison to the main room. After quick introduction, participants scattered around the courtyard and completed the forms with 20 questions.

While I was entering numbers from the first set of forms into the Excel file and calculating participants’ happiness ratios, they wrote questions about their obstacles of happiness.  We rotated the second set of  forms among participants, so that each of them had a chance to answer other people’s questions. The questions were about romantic life, work life balance, connecting to people better, etc.

At the end everyone received two forms back: one with their happiness ratio and the other with answers to their questions. We had a discussion and the feedback was most valuable. Kim enjoyed giving answers, while writing her own questions was hard.

Warren said that he tried to answer questions as best as he could because he knew how important it was for the other person and that person’s happiness depended on it. He also mentioned that it would be nice to do this test every morning, because it is a good check for someone’s life. Warren was surprised at the complexity of the test. Even though there were just twenty questions, they do cover all sources of happiness and the happiness ratio is correct.

I was asked “What does the ratio mean?” and the answer is “of everything you want for your happiness how much do you think you have right now”. I was curious if the exercise helped to focus on what participants have or what they don’t have. Kim said that for her it was about understanding how many good things she has in her life and about being grateful for them.

I explained that this assessment could work both ways: it could either direct you to lower your expectations or help achieve what you need the most in your life (being more proactive).

As we drove back my friend, who also participated in the event, said that she wrote a question and the answer was not new to her but it was reassuring to hear it from a stranger, which just reconfirmed that she really needs to do it and really focus on it. Imagine that 100 people read your question and gave you 100 great answers. Even  if you don’t act upon their recommendation, it is possible that  you will be happier simply because so many people care about you and your happiness.

It turned out that one of the participants Ricky has a great website Lifelong happiness, he gave us special bracelets, which are part of the 30 day challenge. I checked his website out after the event and was very impressed. All the content on the website is to help people to achieve happiness in life. One of the quotes is “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. ~Mother Teresa”

As for the testing of the tool in San Francisco that was planned for June 30, only one person showed up who happens to be my friend 🙂 We waited for the rest of the folks in Epicenter Cafe for about 40 minutes and then went to Udupi Palace for an Indian dinner. I didn’t get upset that others didn’t show up because I realized that on Thursday before the 4th of July many people may decide to travel or run last minute errands, so I was totally fine with having a dinner with my friend instead. But that same day he introduced me to a guy who was really interested in the tool and I promised to send it to him. If I can help one person learn something that will help him find his happiness I’m happy.

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People Ask for Life Purpose

I just found this post Living Your Life Purpose from Steve Pavlina from June 2 and want to share it with you:

“You may recall that a few months ago I did a survey to see what kinds of products people would be interested in seeing me create. Among other insights this provided, it helped me see what the most requested topics are. Where do people need the most help?

One of the top requests in that survey was for a product on the topic of Life Purpose. In reading through the many hundreds of comments, it became clear that a lot of people still feel they’re drifting, and they need more help bringing a sense of purpose to their lives, so they can feel centered and at peace with themselves — and so they can feel they’re on a path to making a meaningful contribution instead of being stuck in unfulfilling situations.

Another thing that stood out was that people want more than how-to information. They need help motivating themselves to go through the process. So even though I’ve written a good deal about life purpose in the past, and many people have found it extremely helpful, it isn’t enough to get everyone to the place they’d like to be — the place of having a deep-rooted connection to one’s life purpose.

I started working on a product along those lines because it seemed like a good place to start. Many other aspects of self-development stem from clarifying your life purpose. I completed the product outline, which I expected would become a 6-10 hour audio program. But when I reviewed the outline, something didn’t feel quite right about it to me. It didn’t feel like this was really “my product.” I felt like I was using a semi-forced process that wasn’t my normal process for creating inspired content.

I acknowledged to myself that I was out of flow, so I put the product on hold for a while, worked on other projects, and took a weeklong road trip through California, intending to come back to the project a little later with a fresh perspective. I pondered whether I should take the product in a different direction. I didn’t want to scrap it because I know there’s a need for it, but I’ve learned over the years that it’s important to trust my intuition when it comes to such matters.

During this time I received an email from Dr. Brad Swift about a new product he was releasing on the subject of… you guessed it… life purpose. I was already familiar with Brad’s work because I reviewed his book Life on Purpose: Six Passages to an Inspired Life in 2007, and we’ve kept in touch over the years. Life on Purpose is simply the best book on life purpose I’ve ever read, and it deserves the rare honor of maintaining a solid 5-star average rating on Amazon.com.

There is also a series of 3 short videos that will introduce you to his Life on Purpose process. These videos are free to watch and don’t require signing up for anything. Watch the videos here: A Life That Matters

Once you’ve watched the first video, follow the link at the end of the text below the video to view the next video in the series. There are 3 videos in total, and each one is a little over 10 minutes long.

These videos will give you a good overview of the more detailed process you’ll experience in the Life on Purpose Virtual Video Coach program that helps you discover your life purpose and begin living in alignment with it.

If you feel you’ve been drifting lately and would like to have more meaning, focus, and centeredness in your life — or if you’ve been thinking about a career change to do work that’s more aligned with who you truly are — these videos are a good place to begin.”

Three Tips

I wrote this post for another blog 6 months ago, but I thought of it after reading this http://t.co/bxUKflG, a collection of good tips and ideas from bloggers. Below are three tips that helped me in 2010.

1. Create several social identities. Become a member of several groups, whether it is a book club, church meeting, basketball team at work, make your own beer crew, etc. This year I spent many months unemployed and trying to be very frugal while I was looking for a job.  I couldn’t go out much or go on vacation, etc. but I attended my Tuesday Writer’s Meet-up gatherings, met with my book club friends and volunteered with OLPC.  My social groups got me going and gave me a sense of purpose and fulfillment especially during hard times.

Make friends with people from different walks of life, one day you’ll especially thank yourself for that, as those friendships will give you new perspective, make you wiser and more open-minded. This will also help you network and share hobbies with others.

2. Don’t be afraid to look or ask for help. At some points of our lives we all need either direct help or mentoring.  Sometimes we are debating between several options and can’t make up our mind. And then one small piece of advice from a total stranger could work as a moderator or catalyst for resolving our pending questions. When depressed, don’t assume you are alone and your condition will stay like that forever, everything passes especially bad things. “All inevitable things are temporary, only lessons from inevitable are eternal” Paolo Coelho. For any problem you have, there is someone who has the answer for you as there have been at least 12 billion people on Earth past and present (plus aliens) and someone for sure at least has thought about what you are pondering.

Ask for help, Google it, put it out there! And the answer will come to you, just believe in the abundance of the Universe, because for some magic reason there are people out there who have right answers. And if you are the one who has the solution, post it on your blog, some forum, etc… Your opinion is valuable for someone else on this planet.

3. Make new priorities this year. Find room for what you really want to do. Whether it is a long-desired hobby, more time spent with your friends and family or a simple vacation. My friend complained that he worked too much and had no time to rest, then I said “make it your priority, and then you will find time”.  When he focused on it, he managed to take time off work; months later I received beautiful pictures he sent from his big trip to Europe. He looked very happy and healthy. The same happened to me. A year ago I realized that I had other priorities in life besides corporate work, and I left my job and went to volunteer in Asia. I felt like I found something I lost many years ago – the  meaning and lightness of life. 

Make priorities this year for important things in you life that should not wait.

Inspired by Mark McCurdy and his Three awesome tips to start the New Year http://bit.ly/hxguEd

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